Things That Make You Go Hmmm...
  • It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
  • Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
  • The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
  • It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
  • You can't have everything, where would you put it?
  • Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
  • If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  • The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
  • Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
  • Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  • When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!
  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  • Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
  • I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
  • I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  • When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.